Newly Single...Not Sure if I am ready to Date

I'm newly single and I am embracing it quite well. However, I kinda have a wall up. I do not want to allow myself to be hurt again. It's only been a week and I kinda already miss the good things about being in a relationship. I miss being wanted and missed by him. I miss cooking for him, back rubs and cuddling. Date nights and random surprises. I want to date but I am not sure if I am ready for it just yet. I must say I am much happier single. No worrying about where he is, no broken promises, no argument about the same shit lol. No feelings of being unappreciated. I wake up excited about life and not being stressed. I am loving being single. I have more time for myself. I have time to do the things I love to do. I just get to solely focus on Me and that's an amazing feeling. As far as dating, I will take baby steps. If it happens cool if not cool. I am staying completely optimistic and positive about it. Single and loving it :)

Growing Up Without a Daddy: How It Affects Your Relationships With Men

I didn't grow up with my biological father in my life. I had male figures here and there but none of them were constant and my relationships with them were not so great. So as I got older and I begin to have relationships with  men, I did not have a clear understanding/example of what it was like to be treated by a man. I had watched movies and dreamed of fairy tales of what it was like to be loved and or treated by a man but I had never experienced it first hand. As I grew more, I entered into a world where there were many different men of all ages, cultures, religions ect. I was curious as to what It was like to be with a man. 

I was looking for a man to feel safe and secure with. A protector, a provider, a shoulder to lean on, cry on, to make me happy. To support me, guide me, console me. I was looking for too much in a man that I didn't even know. I had a misconception of what a "Real" man was. I had an idea of what he was suppose to do and how he was suppose to treat me but I had no idea as to what to expect or look for. As I sit here typing this...I am having a recap of all of my pass intimate relationships with men have been like. In each relationship I was essentially looking for my "Daddy" in all of these men. I was allowing myself to be hurt in various ways because I had a pre -misconception of what a real man was. 

As my relationship of 3 1/2 yrs. has come to an end. I have realized that in a relationship with a man... a real man you should not have to beg for time. You shouldn't have to ask for him to take you out. You should never feel unappreciated. You should be treated like a queen. You should come before his friends. Sex and money should not be a patch for all broken promises. He should be a man of his word. His actions should speak louder than anything else. Growing up without your biological father as a women, has a tremendous impact on your interactions and relationships with all men. 

When you don't have a clear understanding or example of what its like to be treated by a man you become vulnerable to accepting anything your given for a small piece of what you need .You struggle with what you deserve. You don't understand your worth and how precious your spirit and body are. Your looking for love in all the wrong places. You allow yourself to be hurt numerous times. You yearn for a man's acceptance, flaws and all. You look for his approval first instead of your own. You love him deeply instead of loving yourself first. You give him all you have to offer and forget to save some for yourself.  Encourage him to become a better man. Hoping he will change and become the man you have dreamed of. 

When in reality you should seek some of these qualities in yourself so you can attract a man of such character. However, once you have an understanding of what has caused you to experience situations like this multiple times in various relationship, its time to change. Its time to become a better you. Its time to value, love, understand your worth and recognize what you deserve. It's not easy ladies but it must be done. Be self-approved and stop looking for approval in every man you meet. And every man you meet can never replace your father nor repair the damage of you being a product of a fatherless child. 

Love Ya:)